The last time I cummed was 13 days ago. Really. The last ejaculation was the evening of Jun 3, at our temple gathering fact (where I actually came twice). But since then, I have very purposely and very deliberately not masturbated or attempted to achieve manual ejaculation.
This may seem odd, for a temple member to purposely go without but there are both reasons I started this and reasons that I continue it. Of course I intend to have an orgasm again, this is simply a process I am going through. The timing is good, too, since in July we don’t have a temple session here in Montreal so potentially I could reach 60 days.
My original reason for attempting this task was an effort to achieve a wet dream. I have not had one since I was a young lad, since daily (at least) masturbation generally does away with that and as an adult, my sex life was frequent enough it never came up. Somehow, one day, I wondered if I stopped would they return? I had been reading a website dedicated to this and the general consensus seems to be after no masturbation, a wet dream can occur somewhere after the 15-20 day mark. Your body, building up so much over time, just has to, well, clean the pipes. I eagerly await each night to see if it will happen to me.
But although that was the reason for starting this, something interesting happened on the way to wetdreamland. Certain aspects of my sexuality began to assert themselves in interesting ways. It wasn’t simply masturbation I had to avoid, it was having an orgasm with another person. That doesn’t mean I’m abstaining from sex, far from it. I’m a cock worshipper and we must worship. What happens instead is a unique sub role where the only focus is on the other person’s orgasm and I am left unfulfilled. It has become enlightenment because you realize the pleasure of the cock you can bring out in another person when it is your only outlet. My focus becomes the man and his cock, not my own. Hail Cock.
Denial, of course, is not unprecedented in any sort of faith or worship. Catholics have their lent, Jews have Sabbath, etc., events designed to have you purposely give up something pleasurable or routine as a way to show commitment to your faith and in some cases experience enlightenment. For a worshipper of cock to give up orgasm is a powerful commitment indeed.
The changes in my body and attitude have been interesting. First off, after about day four, I started leaking precum every time I got hard. Like every single time, which hasn’t happened to me since I was fourteen years old. I actually welcome it, I have had evenings wearing light grey shorts and watching the fabric soak up the liquid as I fantasize about cock. It shows me that Priapus is still with me and I am encouraged by his presence. The sexual energy (though now a bit tapered since the first 7 days) was amazing, too. I find myself energized as if on a high (the sites call this phenomenon “T-Buzz” for testosterone). It does not last, as your body readjusts in some ways, but it was a good week.
Explaining this abstaining to potential sex partners has proved to be interesting. I am an honest person by nature, and I do not wish to lie, but at the same time, humanity being what it is, not everyone is ready to hear everything. For those that wish my cum, I have to politely explain that I must decline and will service only. For some, this is quite agreeable, for others it’s a dealbreaker (or at the very least leads to additional questions). Not every match is perfect, but this process has led to some very interesting worship sessions indeed. Ever mindful of “no, this must be about you” is madeningly frustrating and highly erotic. Hail Cock, indeed.
I do not know if I will reach my original goal, the wet dream. The next two or three weeks will tell. Surely with what my body appears to continue to produce in copious amounts, something has to give sooner or later. But Cock has continued to teach me, even if my original intention is unfulfilled. I have gained new insights and experiences and to Him I am grateful for that.
Priase Priapus, peace be with him.